Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Finding it difficult

I am finding it difficult to connect with anyone, mainly people around my age. My life is on the fast track compared to other 24 year olds I know. I am married and have 3 kids. Most of the people my age are just now getting engaged, getting married, or having their first child.

I feel like I am an outcast. There are a few people who I can talk to once in awhile but really I feel like I just can't connect. Is it because I have been burned by so many "So Called" friends before I can't make genuine connections with people anymore.

I told my husband the other day, really what is adult interaction. I really only talk to my husband.
I don't have that go to friend anymore, someone I can talk to about everything. Sometimes it feels like people act like they are your friends because they have to. I have to say being part of a mom group is hard sometimes. You don't know if they like you for you or because of a title you have had, and it truly makes it hard to be a happy person.

I guess I will find someone who will understand me and be able to feel comfortable with one day.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Untitled

Some days I am a truly proud person. I have no regrets or seem very unhappy. But then there are THOSE days were I feel like such a failure. Feeling like I have let down my family, my husband, my kids, etc.

I seem to try so hard and some days it feels like I just don't do enough to satisfy everyone. I have never considered of thinking of myself first. But when should I put myself first? Is it being selfish?

Am I truly failing? Obviously no, but why are THOSE days so hard to get through? I am a strong person, but THOSE days seem to get the best of me. I want to just sit in the corner and just sleep or cry, whatever feel good at the time.

I know the other moms out there know what I am going through. When is there time to just clear your mind (Naptime, bedtime?)

Okay my little rant is now done, For now :)