Friday, April 29, 2011

What a day

So after a long day of my husband being at work (14+hrs) Sometimes I just feel like I'm a single mother. His job doesn't consider he has 3 young children at home and working him all hours of the night. People who have no real responsibilities get off early and can just do whatever they want.
I am tired! He misses bedtime, the girls won't stop asking when daddy will come home. It hurts me inside. When my husband went out of town for 2 days, my oldest asked me if daddy was ever coming back home. I mean what can you do.
I feel like the walls around me are crumbling and I'm getting caught by the rubble. But I stay strong for my family. I mask my emotions and lock them deep inside. I can't have my children see me as a mess., even though I just want to cry!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Feeling Drained

I feel like I am doing too much in my life sometimes, and feels like the life is literally getting sucked out of me. Feels like you don't have anyone to turn to at times. Keeping things bottled up is just not a good thing for me, because once I hit my boiling point, WATCH OUT!
I'm trying to not get to that point but I feel more and more frustrated then anything.

And the best way for me to get over things is just to sit and cut off the world in a sense.
Granted I have better days then bad, but the bad days seem so harsh. I really do miss having that close friend to understand me, and knows how I truly feel.

But I have to say today was a good day, yesterday was a bad day but I have moved on, and trying to keep this smile on my face.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Spring Break

Is Spring Break almost over? I swear this has been the most tiring week! Jocelyn is even ready to go back to school.
In a week span, I've given the most time outs, pulling the girls off each other to stop fighting, saying the weird NO, heard tons more crying. And my girls are only 5 years old and almost 2 years old.
Now can I say I'm not looking forward to summer vacation! :)

My girls are physically draining, and then on top of that my son, has been cranky pants this week as well. I think he is cutting another tooth in, which means not great sleep for mommy. All I want to do is curl up in bed with my husband and sleep!

Monday can't come fast enough!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

4.13.11-Playing catch up

So recently my husband has realized he can't keep giving certain people in his life, chances upon chances. Basically he has cut ties with his brother. All he does is lie to my husband, and he can't seem to keep his lies straight. My husband doesn't want to since it's his brother but he is done being hurt. I have also come across some amazing woman lately, and truly feel I'm starting to make friends who understand me. Because they are moms! YES! I feel like I can be myself and not have to hold back.which I have been missing for years people that I can truly relate to in different ways. Also my husband has left for a 2 day out of town work related job. I was extremely upset with the last minute notice his bosses gave him and myself, but what can you do. I feel like I may go insane without my man. And the kids are already missing him this morning. But hopefully this weekend, he wont have to work and we can spend it together. I think I've caught up on what is going on in my life as of right now!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I'm already don't like this week. (Granted my birthday was yesterday) My husband has been working from 7am-8pm. Which means he is gone before the kids are up and he gets home just minutes before they go to bed. He is getting so bothered by this he asked "Why even be married and why did I have kids?" He also said "soon the kids won't even know who I am." That truly hurts the heart. The kids know (well our two girls) know that daddy is working hard for them. And he feels the only time we have is when we are about to go to bed for the night. Which is horrible but true. I miss him so much during the day, I would love to just sit there and text or talk to him all day but what would that do? I absolutely do not like his bosses. Today our daughter was being recognized a student of the month for her class. Well one of his bosses gave him a big ol' stink about how they needed him to be at work and was texting his phone on when he would be in. He missed 2 whole hours of work. This is our first child out of our three in school. Since the others have a few more years til then and we want to enjoy this most special day with her. He is really the only guy at his job with young kids and he cant enjoy the simple things. So like i said, I'm over this week already and it is just tuesday.